


Stupid Cone of Shame

by PilgrimKitty



Series: The Adventures of Burt and Carole's crazy Pets [13]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe, Cats, Crack, Fluff, Gen, Injury, M/M, Pets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-09
Updated: 2011-09-09
Packaged: 2017-10-23 14:23:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/251303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PilgrimKitty/pseuds/PilgrimKitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Puppy!Blaine has to wear the stupid Cone of Shame.  Kitty!Kurt makes him all better.  A Kitty!Kurt/Puppy!Blaine ficlet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stupid Cone of Shame

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of a series of ficlets/drabbles I've been writing on Tumblr. The basic concept is that Carole and Burt are married, and have several pets. Rachel and Kurt are their cats, Finn is a golden retriever, Puck is a German Shepherd, and Blaine is a terrier, not much bigger than Kurt. Kitty!Kurt and Puppy!Blaine have an odd relationship involving lots of snuggles, and teaming up together against Finn and Puck.

Blaine thought that, really, it was all Finn’s fault. Finn, as a golden retriever was much bigger and stronger than Blaine, who was just a little fuzzy thing. So, when they were playing with the **BALL!** Finn should have realized how hard he pushed it. But all Blaine saw was the **BALL!** so he chased after it, like always, not realizing it was rolling into the _street!_ And everyone knew that the street was a bad place!

Blaine didn’t think there was anything scarier than the vacuum cleaner until the _CAR_ rolled right over him! The force of the car threw Blaine against the curb.

“BLAINE!” Carole yelled as she ran out after him. Blaine knew he was wet and hurting and hurting and hurting when Carole picked him up and made Burt drive them to the animal hospital.

~

Blaine was embarrassed. They’d shaved his fur off on his right side, and put something on him he thought was called _stitches._ They’d put an annoying hard thing on his right front leg which hurt a lot. But none of that was as bad as the _**cone.**_ The stupid doctor lady had put Blaine in the _**cone of shame.**_

“Burt, make sure you leave the cone on Blaine until his stitches come out. The vet is worried he’ll bite at them and pull them out, and the wound will reopen,” Carole told her husband, when she brought their smallest dog home from the animal hospital. The Hudson-Hummels had four pets, a big retriever named Finn, a small, mixed-breed lapdog called Blaine, and two cats, Kurt and Rachel.

“Should we also keep Finn and Puck away from him, then?” Burt asked. ”You know sometimes they treat Blaine like he’s one of their toys and not another dog.”

“That’s a good idea,” Carole said. ”I’ll put up the baby gate, and keep Blaine upstairs with the cats. Finn can run around downstairs to his heart’s content.”

~

Blaine was actually kind of glad for the isolation from Finn and Puck. He didn’t want Finn and Puck to tease him about the _cone of shame._ Nobody liked the cone. It was horrible. The worst torture device the humans had ever invented.  
Still, Blaine was miserable. He felt all itchy everywhere, because he couldn’t lick himself! Especially under the hard thing that he thought was called a cast, and around the horrible stitches. Blaine hobbled over to his doggy bed and curled up, trying to get comfortable. And whimpered. Everything was awful.

“Aww, Blaine, don’t cry,” Kurt said, slinking over to him.

“I’m all hurty and itchy!” Blaine complained, crying a little. ”And I have to wear the _cone of shame._ I can’t even lick myself, anywhere! The fur the doctor didn’t take away is gonna get all knotted and matted up, and I can’t even lick in my favorite places!”

“I can groom you,” Kurt offered, leaning into the pet bed. ”It’s all Finn’s fault anyway. I saw him push the ball into the street from the window. And everyone knows the street is a bad place.”

“Okay,” Blaine sniffled. He laid still while Kurt started licking him all over, grooming his fur, and licking around the edge of the cast. Kurt licked around the _stitches_ and made the itchies stop. As Blaine got really into the grooming he rolled over onto his back, all four legs in the air, and Kurt licked his favorite places, and his belly too. Kurt had to stop, for a few minutes, to hack up a hairball. Blaine noticed, interestingly, that it wasn’t the normal color, but was the color of Blaine’s own fur. When Kurt was done hacking the hairball up on Carole’s ugly slippers, he came back over to Blaine and moved to the other side of the bed so his face was by Blaine’s face.  
Kurt gave Blaine gentle kisses, licking his face, and over his nose, and then nuzzled his nose against Blaine’s.

“I love you, Kurt,” Blaine said.

“I love you too, Blaine,” Kurt said. He then climbed over the canine invalid, which only hurt for a second, and curled up around Blaine’s back.

“See? No matter what, I’ll always look out for you,” Kurt said. ”I don’t think you should play outside anymore, though.”

“But Kurt,” Blaine said, very seriously, “That’s where the **BALL!** was!”

“You can play with mine,” Kurt promised. ”They have little jingles in them, and when you chase them, they make pretty noises! And my yarn is in a ball too!”

“Okay,” Blaine agreed. They could hear Rachel at the gate, crying to be let downstairs where Finn was.

“I don’t understand why she doesn’t just climb or jump over the gate,” Kurt said, yawning. ”It’s not that hard.”  


“I can’t do it,” Blaine said seriously.  


“That’s okay, as long as we’re on the same side,” Kurt said wisely. ”And if they ever put us on the wrong sides, I’ll jump over to yours. Promise.”  


“Okay,” Blaine yawned, and the two fell into their nap together. Maybe if Kurt was gonna groom him, being in the cone of shame wouldn’t be the worst thing _ever._ As long as he had his Kurt, his best friend in the _whole wide world_ , nothing could be too bad.  


~!~


End file.
